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Literature
Pretty words and twisted romanticism
"And the day will come when maybe
we can both be together,
and the circumstances will be right.
Because we know that we were meant
for each other...
until then..
good bye!”
And I said:
BOLLOCKS!
First of all:
There is no such thing as ”time-off” or ”musts”
in life
there are only DECISIONS.
I completely understand that you have too much
to bet in this case
but don't make it look like someone forces you to hang onto
something.
It is your freewill to stay somewhere or respond to your sense
of responsibility;
if that's what you are doing.
I am never going to hang onto a person
”thinking one day, maybe”
In the same way you were able to settle and
build a world with someone,
Guess what:  I DESERVE THE SAME THING TOO!
and if I can't do that with you I will find somebody who can
and thinks I am worth the effort.
I am never going to believe that someone
had no choice and romanticise
the fact that I was not worthy enough
for him to choose me.
You ma
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 1 0
Literature
Years of Silence
I have skipped
some beats
trying to figure this out;
I have lost my mind
trying to track
my soul
dazed and disoriented
in a deserted road
where noone hears
your call
Some days bring all those
sensations
and bursts of emotion
crawl on your skin;
it's the final theme song
the constant reminder
of years of silence
that were part of the story
You, who carry this  
grief of your own;
Will you ever sing for me
again?
Or can you ever sing
at all?
I'll face the days with
heavy eyelids
the weeks, months and years,
with
a heart that wants to
hear it all
from that familiar voice
of yours,
Wandering through
the landscapes of life
where have you gone,
At last?
This is a lonesome journey
through the hills and mountains,
with no peace to sacrifice
and nothing to understand.
This is a lonely mourning
an unshared path,
remorse that bleeds within,
a no way back to life.
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 0 0
Literature
Alien
I am severely
out of date and
estranged
from the Earth's surface.
I am wondering how one does
"everyday",
besides crawling and
barely scratching
normality.
Why does everything I
look at feel ridiculous
and ugly
and shocking.
I live squinting
trying to blur out details;
I am happy that I dont have
a visual memory.
I am always baffled
that I am so disappointed
about the things
I see
strange caricature like
faces and deformities
while our abodes are
weird organic machines
with odd appendices
sticking out;
So I say to myself:
"Of course this is
a senseless reality".
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 2 0
Literature
I am sorry
As sorry as I am
for the small incident
of today;
when I am trying to fight
panic attacks in grocery store lines
and give the impression
that I don't have patience
and that the world does not
revolve around you,
dear cashier.
But I see that you could actually
leave your place this morning
and make it to work
unlike this burdened person that
loses her breath every 100 meters
or so;
but I also know that
this could be too much
understanding to ask
from a huge truck driver like
yourself.
©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 2 0
Literature
118
I can't decipher this
strange language
despite how much I try to 
to stay quiet;
this part of me is so afraid to
see a truth and
hear a truth
that will make my possible hopes
vanish.
Wanting something bad
and fearing it
is a special kind of hell
(and a special kind of torture
as well)
Being alone
but
hating the corrosive company
of the outside world;
the intrinsic contradiction
in wanting to belong
but feeling out of place
wherever you go.
But I would gladly
be a part of your inner turmoil
if you would like to share it;
Maybe I would not be a lonely
fish out of the water
and we could be crazy together,
build a shelter where to hide from
this chaos;
I just hope
this change of heart you brought 
will not be
my only triumph.
 ©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 3 0
Literature
The Moon
My velvet dreams,
my fantasies;
they feel
like life support for me
and soften the way
as I sail the dark cold waters
through the haze
and I don't know where
I am going;
I wished that
when the towers fell
at last
someone would break me open
tear down walls
bare my soul
be real and raw;
in this frightening passage
I know that it is not
my duty to shake
anyone awake
while this blindness overwhelms
I can only save myself
admit my own responsibility
towards the roles that
I have played
I can just release control
let go and have faith.
Alone as it could feel
(even among others)
it gives you a certain kind of strength
to know that
the whole world fell down
and
even when you thought
your worn out heart
could not accept another beating;
you made it through
somehow.
Lost as I may be
among crumbling worlds
and fading castles,
I'll keep diving into
the bottomless well
of my soul
and one day I may
find my way home.
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 2 3
Literature
Far away from us
May centuries have passed
but I'm still feeling the shock.
Do not play with me,
my memories;
This cold is wrenching
my bones!
And the horns that signaled
the end loudly roared.
Reality disfigured
It's not my version of the world;
I ended up in the wrong story,
how and when can I go home?
Will somebody wake me up
or tell me that this is a joke?
Somebody changed the background
music
and I can't recognize this song!
You made so easy for me
to be heard without a word;
please,
do not forget about me!
But the horns that signaled the end
loudly roared.
©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 1 0
Literature
Flashback
Trying to sleep
I asked him if he had cried
when she left.
Because, even though it seemed
later at night that day,
it felt
like an ice cold blade severed
the whole chest.
I asked what he learned about
human love,
”It hurts”, he said.
And maybe that's why
it didn't happen again.
”The sky was so clear
through the window;
I really liked the sand color
of the walls made of stone.”
I've shut down too many pieces
of myself.
But this was life by then;
to be numb and to keep going.
©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 3 0
Literature
Eclipse Season
On eclipse season
I asked the specters
to be gentle and upfront this time;
just to not hide
and ambush with the apparitions.
I am not in need of more stories
or catastrophes,
there must be an honorable reason!
On eclipse season
the joker showed up
turned the world upside down
and played the chances
like cards;
The schemer of fate
had an ace up his sleeve
when he decided that he'll
bring together both you and me.
On eclipse season
the clowns and the buffoons
danced at the tune
of the opening and closing drawers
I had to search through
while the winds of September
razed everything they could.
©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 2 0
Literature
You
You were not supposed to stir
anything in my life
nor blow away
the house of cards
that I was fighting to keep up.
You were not supposed to stir anything
in me
nor slap me awake from my fear
and my complacency.
while I was going through the (e)motions.
But there you were.
And you really changed me.
©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 2 0
Literature
That Window
Today again I got my nose rubbed
against that window I am not supposed to knock
because
only I know, those wordless feelings
among bad metaphors
and strange dreams
and
I can not complain about
me never getting anything because
for some reason
something says I only meet those
who get in my heartbeat
to make me think;
It seems I do not have ”For ever after's”
only some impossible,
ridiculous dream
I can not claim.
©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 3 0
Literature
It doesn't work that way
Do not choke me
with cruel words
and threatening remarks
and then ask me why,
years later,
I did not talk about
what was wrong.
Because I learned to mumble
in silence how much
I despised what you did
and later even you.
It did not happen over night;
it took me years to gather
the strength to realize
what I do not need to tolerate
and that I don't need to drown in
your neglect
neither pull my hair out
trying to reason
with your selective hearing.
Tell me how do you say
you did not mean it
and expect to reverse the poison
that killed year after year
every single cell of the feelings I had.
It doesn't work that way;
because it's very convenient to forget
all the ugly things you said
I personally never
forgot any of them.
It doesn't work that way.
There is no antidote
you can't ”un-poison” someone;
You can't bring back the dead.
It doesn't work that way.
It doesn't work that way.
Today I am not settling for crumbs
ever again.
©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 4 0
Literature
Exodus
In the distance light receded
while everything slept
and with too big a burden to bear,
they decided to go away
and start a new life somewhere else.
But on the heat and cold
on dew and frost
echoed the hours of turmoil;
together with the forgotten tombs.
The buried stories
and the hushed witnesses.
obscured on the side of the road.
They kept walking, sore
with their broken bones;
the trail was erased
by the rainfall.
But the rancor they felt ate them
slowly and lurked in the corner
of the mirror;
it stalked them somewhere
in the backdrop.
Yet when they arrived to the new
and ”better land” they were only
consternated
by looking at their few possessions,
since all they carried was
damaged and torn.
And even though they knew
they did not belong with the old
they were too bruised
and broken themselves
to feel they would ever belong
among those who had never been in hell.
©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 4 0
Literature
Life
So, Life:
I guess I'm your puppet now!
I have no witness,
I have no will;
And while you dig deep
and exploit my every weakness
and my every fear
I am completely
powerless before you.
In every game that I played
if I did try my best,
tell me why am I here,
what crime have I made?
So, life:
Master with a cruelty
that knows no bounds;
you have successfully turned
breathing into a plight.
I'm nothing now
but a helpless a child;
and from this darkening room
the red sky's screams
suffocate in my mind.
The claws of those days
still feel so harsh;
they grasp and they scratch.
You gasp for air
and you try to survive.
Whatever you wanted
to make me regret, you have!
While I'm cornered here
thrown into a place
with no way out.
©2017
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 3 0
Literature
Chiron's grave (yesteryear)
Stitching together many parts of you
and many definitions
the broken one with the fallen masks
and the bruised heart after thousand
years of oblivion.
He was hiding in
in a subterranean cave,
covering his face
with his hands
thinking he would be doomed for ever.
But you can only
give from what you have inside
and soon enough
you are intoxicated by the poison
of another soul.
Like broken glass passed down
through the veins
by the hangman
to make sure you
carry hell within you
rocked to the very core
through the hours that
seemed tortuous and endless.
And you keep crawling
for a hand
to pull you out of the depths
of all the tears you cried alone
one day.  
One day I hope
that miracle
is not that far away.
But yesteryear
doesn't just go away;
one said ”You recall and you're okay.”
I have to differ I feel
like I am not done yet;
I no longer know who I am.
The tunnel for me seemed endless
although some wounds through the years
have lessened;
I can not come back
to the world
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 2 0
Literature
Pluto
I remember reading Bécquer's poems
when I was very young.
It did not look like I had that much of a business
to do on the surface of earth, at that time.
With my writing pad and my little poetry book.
And I could stay awake all night with my walkman
and some cassette bands.
It was like a war around
and everywhere there were predators.
After school time I could have
the occasional cigarette
and with my friends,
my god! how we talked nonsense!
And I must have been the champion
(I can say so much without thinking
like I write, sometimes.)
Today, thoughts from the past
hunt me like a stranglehold.
And the highschool bullies.
I think I still want to sleep
with the lights on when I remember.
Way too many times..
I've been nothing but a scapegoat
I think I wrote myself out
in a way to surgically remove the
misery from the shell I was walking around in.
In this predatory world
very few would stand a chance,
and no one likes to admit failure,
so I kept all the bad stuff for myself.
Did I w
:iconThose-Mountains:Those-Mountains
:iconthose-mountains:Those-Mountains 2 0
Welcome to my Deviant Art page. This is my therapy.

Favourites

Dusk by RalphHorsley Dusk :iconralphhorsley:RalphHorsley 163 11 Sunrise by Leonid Afremov by Leonidafremov Sunrise by Leonid Afremov :iconleonidafremov:Leonidafremov 211 4 Sirin y Alkonost by jesterry Sirin y Alkonost :iconjesterry:jesterry 127 16 Golden Light by shi0ri Golden Light :iconshi0ri:shi0ri 78 3 Azure Dragon by mangakasan Azure Dragon :iconmangakasan:mangakasan 207 25 Expectations by mangakasan Expectations :iconmangakasan:mangakasan 201 21 Novae by mangakasan Novae :iconmangakasan:mangakasan 267 20 Sailing With The Sun by Leonid Afremov by Leonidafremov Sailing With The Sun by Leonid Afremov :iconleonidafremov:Leonidafremov 183 3 Bald 'n' Dandy by tuftedpuffin Bald 'n' Dandy :icontuftedpuffin:tuftedpuffin 37 2 Xxcx3x by Placi1 Xxcx3x :iconplaci1:Placi1 82 32 Sketches 20170513 by kynlo Sketches 20170513 :iconkynlo:kynlo 24 4 What Lurks Beneath the Ruby Sea (Navy Version) by EKKnight What Lurks Beneath the Ruby Sea (Navy Version) :iconekknight:EKKnight 57 6 Louvre 2017 (02) by kuschelirmel-stock Louvre 2017 (02) :iconkuschelirmel-stock:kuschelirmel-stock 8 0 Louvre 2017 (08) by kuschelirmel-stock Louvre 2017 (08) :iconkuschelirmel-stock:kuschelirmel-stock 63 0 Full-Moon-Rise-Juno-Beach-Pier-May-2017 by CaptainKimo Full-Moon-Rise-Juno-Beach-Pier-May-2017 :iconcaptainkimo:CaptainKimo 62 3

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Activity


"And the day will come when maybe
we can both be together,
and the circumstances will be right.
Because we know that we were meant
for each other...
until then..
good bye!”

And I said:

BOLLOCKS!

First of all:
There is no such thing as ”time-off” or ”musts”
in life
there are only DECISIONS.
I completely understand that you have too much
to bet in this case
but don't make it look like someone forces you to hang onto
something.
It is your freewill to stay somewhere or respond to your sense
of responsibility;
if that's what you are doing.

I am never going to hang onto a person
”thinking one day, maybe”
In the same way you were able to settle and
build a world with someone,
Guess what:  I DESERVE THE SAME THING TOO!
and if I can't do that with you I will find somebody who can
and thinks I am worth the effort.
I am never going to believe that someone
had no choice and romanticise
the fact that I was not worthy enough
for him to choose me.
You may go away if you want
and I am moving on 100%

I will find my haven too
and be happy with the real thing
not just a consolation price,
for the so called ”one who got away”
That does not exist;
only people with no guts
who are not willing to live for
what they're truly wanting.
I have skipped
some beats
trying to figure this out;
I have lost my mind
trying to track
my soul
dazed and disoriented
in a deserted road
where noone hears
your call

Some days bring all those
sensations
and bursts of emotion
crawl on your skin;
it's the final theme song
the constant reminder
of years of silence
that were part of the story

You, who carry this  
grief of your own;
Will you ever sing for me
again?
Or can you ever sing
at all?
I'll face the days with
heavy eyelids
the weeks, months and years,
with
a heart that wants to
hear it all
from that familiar voice
of yours,

Wandering through
the landscapes of life
where have you gone,
At last?
This is a lonesome journey
through the hills and mountains,
with no peace to sacrifice
and nothing to understand.
This is a lonely mourning
an unshared path,
remorse that bleeds within,
a no way back to life.
I am severely
out of date and
estranged
from the Earth's surface.
I am wondering how one does
"everyday",
besides crawling and
barely scratching
normality.

Why does everything I
look at feel ridiculous
and ugly
and shocking.
I live squinting
trying to blur out details;
I am happy that I dont have
a visual memory.
I am always baffled
that I am so disappointed
about the things
I see
strange caricature like
faces and deformities
while our abodes are
weird organic machines
with odd appendices
sticking out;
So I say to myself:
"Of course this is
a senseless reality".
As sorry as I am
for the small incident
of today;
when I am trying to fight
panic attacks in grocery store lines
and give the impression
that I don't have patience
and that the world does not
revolve around you,
dear cashier.

But I see that you could actually
leave your place this morning
and make it to work
unlike this burdened person that
loses her breath every 100 meters
or so;
but I also know that
this could be too much
understanding to ask
from a huge truck driver like
yourself.

©2017
I can't decipher this
strange language
despite how much I try to 
to stay quiet;
this part of me is so afraid to
see a truth and
hear a truth
that will make my possible hopes
vanish.
Wanting something bad
and fearing it
is a special kind of hell
(and a special kind of torture
as well)
Being alone
but
hating the corrosive company
of the outside world;
the intrinsic contradiction
in wanting to belong
but feeling out of place
wherever you go.
But I would gladly
be a part of your inner turmoil
if you would like to share it;
Maybe I would not be a lonely
fish out of the water
and we could be crazy together,
build a shelter where to hide from
this chaos;
I just hope
this change of heart you brought 
will not be
my only triumph.


 ©2017

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Amorrortu
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Sweden

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:iconchesterpalm:
ChesterPalm Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017  Student Interface Designer
Thank you for the watch! <3
Reply
:iconthose-mountains:
Those-Mountains Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome and thank you for thé llama! :)
Reply
:iconthesewingsofdarkness:
TheseWingsofDarkness Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the favourites and watch! It means so much to me. Love Hug 
Reply
:iconthose-mountains:
Those-Mountains Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome and thank you for watching as well <3 
Reply
:iconthesewingsofdarkness:
TheseWingsofDarkness Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2017  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconetskuni:
Etskuni Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2017
Thanks for watching :thanks:
Reply
:iconthose-mountains:
Those-Mountains Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :D
Reply
:iconliphoeryx:
Liphoeryx Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hi there! Welcome here. :P
Reply
:iconthose-mountains:
Those-Mountains Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you! :D
Reply
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